1. Wash your bedsheets.
2. Spend half as much time feeling sorry for yourself as you spend doing something about it.
3. The word “twentysomething” describes your age. Stop using it as a crutch to describe your limitations. The economy is shitty, healthcare is hard, and college loans are steeped. Still: you’re not a goddamn Time Magazine thinkpiece. You are a person who steers your own ship. Start being a captain.
4. Maintain a saving account that you can survive on for 3 “i’m fucked” months.
5. Take a leap. If you don’t do something you’re scared of now, you’re wasting your mortality.
6. Get back to doing some of the things you loved before all of that noise drowned it out.
7. You are an adult. Learn to drink like one.
8. Be fucking nicer.
9. Maintain your: friendships, fridge, and gmail folder
10. Stop underestimating yourself.